Questionnaire 17.

I’ve excised most of those questions I answered in earlier questionnaires. Here’s the source.

1. HOW OLD ARE YOU? 37.
2. ARE YOU SURE? Reasonably, but to be honest I have to take other people’s word for it. I was certainly there when I was born, but I wasn’t looking around for a clock or calendar.
3. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Rum and coke.
5. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE VEGETABLE? Zucchini. Sliced, buttered, salted, peppered, roasted.
6. DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL? Vaguely. I remember sitting in the cafetorium with a bunch of other students and having no clear idea what was going on.
7. WHAT IS THE WORST EXAM RESULT YOU REMEMBER EVER GETTING? Probably a D. I honestly don’t remember ever failing a test. I got an F on a presentation in seventh grade, and I remember thinking the teacher looked happy about it.
8. CAN YOU SWIM? Well enough to save myself for at least five, ten seconds.
9. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE ACTRESS? Sigourney Weaver.
10. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE ACTOR? Sean Connery.
11. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE COMEDIAN? Mitch Hedburg. Unfortunately, the kid died from a speedball ten years ago.
12. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE POLITICIAN? Tough call. The more I study history the less I like most of them. And my answer varies depending on the time of year, i.e., it is often biased towards whatever time period I’m teaching about at the moment. But I’ll go with Coolidge.
13. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE HISTORICAL FIGURE (BEEN DEAD FOR AT LEAST 100 YEARS)? Lincoln.
14. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SUPER-HEROINE? Linda Carter.
15. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SUPER-HERO? Batman.
16. CAN YOU NAME A FEMALE SCIENTIST OTHER THAN MADAME CURIE? Dian Fossey. Rachel Carson. Anna Schwartz.
17. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE GOD OR GODDESS? I’ll interpret this to mean “from myth”. Tough call. I’ll go with Baldr, but that’s probably because I’ve got American Gods on the mind.
18. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE WOMAN OF ALL TIME? From history? Right now, Harriet Tubman.
19. DO YOU AGREE WITH “AN EYE FOR AN EYE, A TOOTH FOR A TOOTH”? Whenever appropriate, though I don’t object to forgiveness. Wisdom is knowing when to apply which.
20. DO YOU AGREE WITH “LIFE DOES NOT FORGIVE WEAKNESS”? No, because sometimes it does.
21. DO YOU AGREE WITH “IT IS THE ENEMY WHO CAN TRULY TEACH US TO PRACTICE THE VIRTUES OF COMPASSION AND TOLERANCE”? Yes. It’s easy to tolerate those we already tolerate, and to have compassion for those we already love or like.
22. DO YOU AGREE WITH “THE STATE CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT TO DO”? No. In short, the state exists for my convenience, so that I can do what I want to do.
23. DO YOU AGREE WITH “IF I HAD TO CHOOSE BETWEEN BETRAYING MY COUNTRY AND BETRAYING MY FRIEND, I HOPE I SHOULD HAVE THE GUTS TO BETRAY MY COUNTRY”? That really depends on what my friend was up to.
24. DO YOU AGREE WITH “IF THE PATH BE BEAUTIFUL, LET US NOT ASK WHERE IT LEADS”? They say good intentions are beautiful.
25. DO YOU AGREE WITH “CRIME IS A PRODUCT OF SOCIAL EXCESS”? Not all crime is a product of social excess. Some people are jerks, some are evil.
26. DO YOU AGREE WITH “DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU”? Yes.
27. DO YOU AGREE WITH “AND MANKIND IS NAUGHT BUT A SINGLE NATION”? No. I am much prouder of being an American than I am of being a human.
28. DO YOU AGREE WITH “BULIMIA IS SOOOO ’87”? I don’t know what this means. If it’s a quote from a movie… I just googled the quote, and am embarrassed to admit that I didn’t recognize it from Heathers. Good Lord. Anyhow, if the quote is used to mean that bulimia should be avoided and overcome, then yes. But if it is used seriously (i.e., not in a darkly comic sense) to mean that there are newer, trendier eating disorders, then I think the quote makes too light of a serious problem.
29. WHAT IS THE WORST MOVIE YOU HAVE EVER SEEN? Superman IV comes to mind as being especially horrible. That’s why I loved Superman Returns so much; it retconned Superman III and IV out of existence.
30. WHAT IS THE WORST TV SHOW YOU HAVE EVER SEEN? Ferris Bueller.
31. WHAT IS THE BEST BOOK YOU HAVE EVER READ? The Road.
32. WHAT IS THE WORST SONG YOU HAVE EVER HEARD? Probably something on YouTube about life in Detroit. It was atrocious.
33. WHAT IS THE WORST SPORT YOU KNOW OF? Not a big fan of golf. All those courses could be soccer pitches, or football fields, or basketball courts. Or hockey rinks, if you’re far enough north.
34. WHO IS THE BEST AUTHOR EVER? Just going by sales alone, Moses.
35. WHO IS THE WORST SPORTS “STAR” YOU HAVE EVER SEEN? Worst in what sense? It’s pretty hard to fake great success in the sporting arena; it’s not really a matter of judgement. My most hated sports figure, based simply on what happened on the field, would have to be Charles Martin, mid-80s defensive lineman for the Green Bay Packers, for body slamming Jim McMahon.
36. IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME TO WITNESS A HISTORICAL EVENT IN PERSON, WHAT EVENT WOULD YOU WANT TO SEE? The Tunguska meteor strike in 1908, from a safe distance.
37. IF YOU COULD GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD RIGHT NOW, WHERE WOULD YOU GO? Italy.
38. IF YOU COULD MEET ANYONE IN THE WORLD, WHO WOULD YOU MEET? The winner of the next five Super Bowls, so I could make some money prognosticating.
39. IF YOU COULD BECOME FAMOUS FOR ONE THING, WHAT WOULD THAT THING BE? Education reform.
40. IF YOU COULD BUY ANYTHING REGARDLESS OF COST, WHAT WOULD YOU BUY? A house in a quiet corner of the world.
41. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANY ONE THING ABOUT YOUR COUNTRY, WHAT WOULD IT BE? There are entirely too few states. I say add three. I am not a crackpot.
42. IF YOU COULD CHANGE ANY ONE THING ABOUT INTERNATIONAL POLITICS, WHAT WOULD IT BE? See #41.
43. IF YOU COULD MEET ANY FAMOUS PERSON WHO IS DEAD, WHO WOULD IT BE? Keynes, to see what he thought of what he hath wrought.
44. IF YOU COULD BECOME DICTATOR OF THE WORLD, WOULD YOU? Yes, but only so I could, like, do stuff that was good for humanity, and then I totally promise I’d step down.
45. IF YOU COULD EAT AN ENTIRE COW AT ONE SITTING, WOULD YOU? No.
46. HAVE YOU EVER ILLEGALLY DOWNLOADED MUSIC/TV SHOWS/MOVIES FROM THE NET? Nice try, Metallica.
47. HAVE YOU EVER USED ILLEGAL NARCOTICS (YES, EVEN POT COUNTS IF IT WAS ILLEGAL AT THE TIME)? No, but once I accidentally took five amoxicillin pills instead of four before a dentist visit. Hopefully the American people will understand that it was a youthful indiscretion.
48. HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN ANY POINTS ON YOUR DRIVING LICENSE? I don’t bleeve so.
49. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN ANYTHING FROM A SHOP? No.
50. HAVE YOU EVER BOUGHT ALCOHOL OR CIGARETTES WHILE UNDERAGE? No.
51. HAVE YOU EVER BOUGHT ALCOHOL OR CIGARETTES FOR ANOTHER PERSON WHO WAS UNDERAGE? No.
52. HAVE YOU EVER TRIED TO CHEAT THE TAXMAN/SOCIAL SECURITY/OTHER GOVERNMENT AGENCY? Cheat? No. Out-cheat? Yes.
53. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN ON A TRAIN OR BUS WITHOUT PAYING? No.
54. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN ARRESTED? No.
55. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CHARGED WITH A CRIME? No.
56. WHAT’S THE FURTHEST YOU’VE EVER BEEN FROM HOME? San Diego.
57. WHERE HAVE YOU VISITED THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO GO BACK TO? Chicago. New Hampshire. Arizona.
58. WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO VISIT THAT YOU HAVEN’T YET? Italy. Alaska.
59. WHERE IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD? Wherever my sweet patootie is.
60. WHERE HAVE YOU VISITED THAT YOU HOPE NEVER TO GO TO AGAIN? Not a big fan of Middleburg.
61. WHERE WOULD YOU DEFINITELY NEVER GO TO? Venus, probably.
62. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE WAY TO TRAVEL? Driving.
63. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE WAY TO TRAVEL? Airplane.
64. WHAT IS THE CAPITAL OF ASSYRIA? {}
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST MOVIE YOU SAW? Comme une image (Look at me).
66. WAS IT ANY GOOD? I enjoyed it much more than I expected to. I thought the relationships were almost perfectly structured: almost every character ignored someone, and almost every character was ignored by someone else.
67. WHAT WAS THE LAST BOOK YOU READ? Working on American Emperor, about Aaron Burr.
68. WAS IT ANY GOOD? So far.
69. WHAT WAS THE LAST SONG YOU LISTENED TO? Chet Faker’s cover of “No Diggity”.
70. WAS IT ANY GOOD? Yes.
71. WHAT WAS THE LAST COMPUTER GAME YOU PLAYED? If phone apps count, then Chess with Friends. If they don’t, then probably bullet chess on Chess.com.
72. DID YOU DO WELL? In some matches, yes. In others, no.
73. WHAT WAS THE LAST MEAL YOU ATE? Turkey and cranberries on wheat, sweet potato chips with hummus, water. Ate it on the north dock of the lake in my old neighborhood, which was nice after the sun sank below the tree line. I’ll save you the trouble of the next question: it was good.
74. DO YOU AGREE WITH THE WAR IN IRAQ? Yes.
75. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ALIENS? Yes, but it isn’t silly or unreasonable to think we’re alone in the universe. I would be as surprised to find proof of their existence as I would be to find proof of their non-existence. I do not believe that aliens have visited Earth.
76. DO YOU AGREE WITH THE THEORY OF EVOLUTION? I believe evolution happened and is happening. However, I haven’t actually spoken with the Theory and thus don’t know whether we’d agree on much.
77. DO YOU BELIEVE IN REINCARNATION? No.
78. DO YOU AGREE WITH THE IDEA OF THE UNITED NATIONS? Sorta kinda.
79. DO YOU BELIEVE IN KARMA? Not as I understand it. Some people never get what’s supposedly coming back around to them.
80. DO YOU AGREE WITH THE THEORIES OF MAN-INDUCED GLOBAL WARMING? Yes, but I’d probably disagree with AGW adherents about what to do about it.
81. DO YOU BELIEVE IN DEMOCRACY ABOVE ALL OTHER SYSTEMS OF GOVERNMENT? Democracy is a method. So far it seems to be the best method of protecting my rights, so yes.
82. DO YOU AGREE WITH FREDDIE MERCURY WHEN HE SINGS “FAT-BOTTOMED GIRLS YOU MAKE THE ROCKIN’ WORLD GO ROUND”? Yes, but so do non-fat-bottomed girls and so do boys. I believe that we all affect the Earth’s rotation in some way, however miniscule.
83. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CITY? See #59.
84. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORT? Soccer.
85. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE PLACE IN THE WORLD? How many different ways are you going to ask this question?
86. GIVE US A QUOTE TO END ON: Cicero: “Nescire autem quid antequam natus sis acciderit, id est semper esse puerum.” To ignore what came before you is to forever remain a child.

3 thoughts on “Questionnaire 17.

  1. 1. Finally got around to reading American Gods…started this very day in fact.

    2. Superman 4 was super-terrible, but I recently watched a documentary on Cannon Films which explained just why this was so (boring answer is ~50% budget cut midway through filming) but the overall Cannon Films story (and the fact that they were responsible for most of the dreck of the 80s at which we still look back fondly) is fascinating.

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  2. No, but that is why it LOOKED so bad (special effects, etc). One main problem: the studio was obsessed with quick turnaround movies that would make a quick buck (that they already had spent) so quality was never a focus to begin with. The other main problem, in order to lure Christopher Reeve back to the role they let him basically come up with whatever storyline he wanted.

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