Happy 116th!

Time for Gram’s digital birthday card, as today marks her 116th birthday. Here she is with her daughters, at what is presumably my older aunt’s first communion:

This might have been some other religious occasion– I’d know better if I attended Mass more than every third C&E– but it’s still a great photo.

Happy birthday!

Happy 126th!

Today would have been my grandfather’s 126th birthday, so I hereby post this year’s edition of the digital birthday card. Here he is with the family:

Based on the front axle and the bolts in the exterior dashboard, I’d say this was taken at Chicago’s Museum of Science and Industry in the early-to-mid-50s. The exhibit, “Yesterday’s Main Street,” depicted a 1910-ish city street scene, including a bunch of storefronts that would have been the bee’s knees back then. Grampa was old enough to comment on the veracity of the exhibit, though I don’t know if he would’ve been in downtown Chicago in 1910. Either way, it would’ve been neat to hear the commentary.

Don’t know for sure what kind of car that is, but while digging around online I learned that Sears used to sell cars manufactured by Lincoln. That shouldn’t be surprising; they used to sell houses, so why not cars?

Happy birthday!

A far, far better observance.

Marxists, socialists, communists, etc. have celebrated May Day for ages. More specifically, they celebrate “International Workers Day” on May 1st because that was the beginning of the 1886 general strike that sought the eight-hour workday, and led to the Haymarket bombing a few days later.

The eight-hour day might be reasonable, but beware the motte-and-bailey: the comrades gloss over how poorly the international workers fared wherever the comrades took over. Genocide? Meh. Holodomor? As Walter Duranty once said about his commie pals, you can’t make an omelette without breaking some eggs.

(Not that there were eggs, but you get the idea.)

Well, today’s May 1st, and I’d rather spend the month celebrating some folks who actually manage to feed people, even if those dirty filthy capitalist pigs make a little money doing so.

A few decades ago, the cattle industry began to celebrate May as “National Beef Month.” In 2017, Buona Beef announced that the fourth Saturday in May would henceforth mark “National Italian Beef Day.” A few years later, Portillo’s escalated matters further by declaring all of May “National Italian Beef Month.” Which, again, begins today. And by happy coincidence, these vastly superior celebrations originate from the same town as the aforementioned commie holiday.

I shall honor the holimonth and holiday with trips to as many Florida-based Portillo’ses as possible, where I shall feast on Italian roast beef sandwiches. Giardinera, gravy, mozzarella. As long as I’m there, I may throw in some Chicago-style dogs even though Hot Dog Month is July, which will warrant additional trips, and maybe a bite of the chocolate cake. Or a sip of the chocolate cake shake.

Driving 150-200 miles for an Italian beef sandwich and a single sip of a shake might strike some as wasteful, and maybe it is. But it’s not “secret police scour villages for hidden grain seeds so nobody illegally grows food during a famine” wasteful. Done ranting for now.

No, I’m not. Turns out the new Animal Farm movie– the one that completely inverts Orwell– comes out today, of all days. How genuinely revolting.

The whole thing into the stars.

I’m grateful that Artemis II has gone pretty smoothly so far. Not perfectly, of course; there were some problems with the toilet and Microsoft Outlook, and I’ll refrain from making the jokes that are already running through Outlook users’ minds.

The public communications– the announcements, the dialogues, the speeches– have generally been beautifully scripted. I don’t mean scripted in the paranoid and conspiratorial sense that some flat Earther might, I mean in the sense of conveying thoughtful sentiments and callbacks to past missions.

The line that has struck me most so far came just after the Orion capsule Integrity broke Apollo 13’s old record for greatest distance from Earth. The Canadian mission specialist Hansen spoke for the crew:

From the cabin of Integrity here, as we surpass the furthest distance humans have ever traveled from planet Earth, we do so in honoring the extraordinary efforts and feats of our predecessors in human space exploration. We will continue our journey even further into space before Mother Earth succeeds in pulling us back to everything that we hold dear. But we most importantly choose this moment to challenge this generation and the next to make sure this record is not long-lived.

“Make sure this record is not long-lived.” I heard that and flashed back to a certain few lines from President Reagan’s Challenger speech, which of course were in a completely different context:

We’ve grown used to wonders in this [the 20th] century. It’s hard to dazzle us. But for 25 years the United States space program has been doing just that. We’ve grown used to the idea of space, and perhaps we forget that we’ve only just begun.

May the new wonders come soon enough and often enough that we grow used to seeing these records broken, and may we keep appreciating them.

I pray that the Integrity crew and capsule come home safely.

I hope that Artemis III and IV go to plan, which will mean humans walking on the Moon in 2028.

And of course, I hope the whole thing speeds up enough that when the time comes for me to slip the surly bonds of this Earth– later this century or early in the next– it’ll be because I’m blasting off towards retirement on Mars. Luxury suite, caveside resort, daily bridge.

I was going to title this “A great gig in the sky,” but then I heard the President’s phone call to the capsule and changed it up.

“The benevolence of the butcher.”

Many, many moons ago it was impressed upon me that either by coincidence or Providence, the Declaration of Independence and The Wealth of Nations were both published in 1776. Thus was I embarrassed to realize that amidst all the hubbub about America’s upcoming 250th, I neglected to watch for the anniversary of the publication of The Wealth of Nations. Whoops. Said anniversary was two weeks ago on the ninth, so at least I got the month right.

Non-econ nerds probably won’t care one way or the other, and chances are most econ nerds won’t care either, but… I do.

Upon realizing that I missed the anniversary, I immediately flashed back to when I taught economics long ago, in the before times. I flashed back to placing blank sheets of transparency film atop my printed notes and feeding them into the thermofax–

the crackle of the film as I peeled it off the paper, hoping for cleanly burned, legible letters and numbers and diagrams–

my silent prayers that the overhead projector bulb wouldn’t burn out, and the students’ vocal prayers that it would–

timing the lecture so that the heat wouldn’t blacken the transparency beyond legibility–

Anyhow, I dug around for some of those old notes and transparencies. Not many of either survive to the present day. But the few I did find included the two best-known excerpts from the book, which Adam Smith wrote in plain enough English that modern high school freshmen could grasp it:

“It is not from the benevolence of the butcher, the brewer, or the baker that we expect our dinner, but from their regard to their self-interest. We address ourselves not to their humanity, but to their self-love and never talk to them of our necessities, but of their advantages.” The Wealth of Nations, Book I, Chapter II

“[An individual] neither intends to promote the public interest, nor knows how much he is promoting it… He intends only his own gain; and he is in this, as in many other cases, led by an invisible hand to promote an end which was no part of his intention. Nor is it always the worse for the society that it was no part of it. By pursuing his own interest, he frequently promotes that of the society more effectually than when he really intends to promote it.” Ibid, Book IV, Chapter II

The rest is worth reading, or at least worth reading about.

To bring things full circle: in the same book, published during the Revolutionary War, Adam Smith called for Britain to grant the American colonies their independence, but he seemed to believe that Britain wouldn’t actually do so. In Book IV, Chapter VII, Part III, he wrote this about the American revolutionaries:

“From shopkeepers, trades men, and attorneys, they are become statesmen and legislators, and are employed in contriving a new form of government for an extensive empire, which, they flatter themselves, will become, and which, indeed, seems very likely to become, one of the greatest and most formidable that ever was in the world.”

An excellent call.

Very tired. More later.

On the continuation of the Bears’ season (’25-’26).

Since last night marked the second time in my life, and only the third time ever, that the Bears and Packers have met in the playoffs, allow me to lazily rehash an end-of-season post from 15 years ago. Deletions are struck through, additions are bolded.

It ended continued in just about the worst best way possible: losing to beating the Packers. In the playoffs. In Soldier Field. With the Halas Trophy on the line still in play, and giving denying the Packers a shot at the Lombardi Trophy. I say “just about the worst best way possible” because I’m sure there’s something that could have made it worse better. Maybe an extinction-level event shortly after the final whistle (though at least in that case the agony would have been short-lived) Mike Ditka snapping the Packers and Green Bay itself out of existence.

[…]

No, in this case, t The blame credit for Chicago’s devastating loss insane comeback victory rests with me. It was entirely my fault doing.

You see, my coed beer league soccer team had a quarterfinal match scheduled for 6:15. The field is thirty minutes away from my mansion. I would either have to miss part of the Bears game, or part of the quarterfinal. I decided to DVR the Bears game, watch until about 5:45, then hop in the car and listen on to the game on AM 930.

Everything was going according to plan. I hopped in the car, Bears down 14-7. I got to the field with a few minutes to spare, by which time it was Packers, 21-14. I put on my guards, socks, and cleats as Caleb Hanie led that fateful, final drive down the field…

But kickoff was coming. I took off wore my lucky C-shirt, which I wear during Bears games, and put on my soccer jersey. By the time I got to the sideline, Hanie had thrown the final interception and the game was over. If I’d waited just a few more minutes, or even worn the C-shirt underneath my jersey, the Bears undoubtedly would have won the whole damn game and that’s why they won.

I hereby apologize say “You’re welcome” to the players, coaches and personnel of the Chicago Bears, to the entire city of Chicago and state of Illinois, to my fellow Bears fans all over the world, including and especially President Obama and the Pope, and to the late George S. Halas, Edward “Dutch” Sternaman, and A. E. Staley, the founders of the Chicago Bears, and the late Virginia Halas McCaskey, whose kids might yet redeem themselves. I hang lift my head, in shame and sorrow, “singing so proud to be alive and coarse and strong and cunning,” and vow to never again fail you by removing always wear the C-shirt during a Bears game.

There’ll be more to say in coming weeks, but I’m so happy about this win that I almost don’t care about the rest of the playoffs. It’s already a successful season: won the last two against the Packers, knocked them out of the playoffs in humiliating fashion, and the Bears may actually have a winner at quarterback. We’ll see.

Merry Christmas 2025!

Can’t hurt to ask the League to do the logical thing and take advantage of the long weekend. It’s what Washington would have wanted.

Granted, certain years it’ll make for an awkwardly early romantic lunch, but we’ll see what Saint Nicholas can work out with fellow Saint Valentine.

Merry Christmas!

My advance review of the new Animal Farm.

I was going to save this for when it actually comes out, but who controls… never mind. Here:

“Do you know where you are, Winston?” asked O’Brien.

“I don’t know. I can guess. In the Ministry of Love.”

“Do you know how long you have been here?”

“I don’t know. Days, weeks, months–I think it is months.”

“And why do you imagine that we bring people to this place?”

“To make them confess.”

“’No, that is not the reason. Try again.”

“To punish them.”

“No!” exclaimed O’Brien. His voice had changed extraordinarily, and his face had suddenly become both stern and animated. “No! Not merely to extract your confession, not to punish you. Shall I tell you why we have brought you here? To cure you! To make you sane! Will you understand, Winston, that no one whom we bring to this place ever leaves our hands uncured? We are not interested in those stupid crimes that you have committed. The Party is not interested in the overt act: the thought is all we care about. We do not merely destroy our enemies, we change them. Do you understand what I mean by that?”

O’Brien had sat down beside the bed, so that his face was almost on a level with Winston’s.

“Look me in the eyes. What is Animal Farm about?”

Winston thought. He knew what was meant by Animal Farm and that he himself had read Animal Farm. He also remembered it was about Stalin and the Bolsheviks, but whether it favored or criticized them he did not know. In fact he had not been aware that there was any message, just a bunch of talking animals and a vague sense that the horse had been wronged.

“I don’t remember.”

Animal Farm is anti-capitalist. Do you remember that now?”

“Yes.”

Animal Farm has always been anti-capitalist. Since Orwell first wrote it in World War II, since the dawn of dystopian literature, since the literal beginning of time itself, it has been anti-capitalist, without a break, always the same. Do you remember that?”

“Yes.”

“Decades ago you created a legend– that a man named Cliff wrote yellow study guides about classic literature. You pretended that you read one claiming Animal Farm was an anti-Stalinist allegory, because you were too lazy to read the actual book, which was just, like, ninety pages. Even with illustrations. But no such study guide never existed. You invented it, and later you grew to believe in it. You remember now the very moment at which you first invented it. Do you remember that?”

“Yes.”

“Just now I held up the fingers of my hand to you. You saw five fingers. Do you remember that?”

“Yes.”

O’Brien held up the fingers of his left hand, with the thumb concealed.

“There are five fingers there. Do you see five fingers?”

 ¢.

Today, the United States minted its last penny, at least for the foreseeable future.

This should probably have been done decades ago, given rising production costs and inflation. But then, what would we use to buy gumballs, or to flatten-and-stamp into souvenirs, or to toss into fountains and wishing wells? Nickels? Please.

I doubt anyone outside of numismatists and coin collectors would have noticed, except for the announcements. Pennies will still circulate for a good long while, and some cash places will round up, or round down, or keep pennies near the register for convenience’s sake.

You’ll still see prices and bills ending in $.01, or $.02, and so on, just like we have gasoline and property taxes priced to the mill– a thousandth of a dollar– despite not having a mill coin since… ever.

Of course, you’ll also occasionally run into cashiers or vendors claiming that since physical pennies aren’t being minted anymore, abstract pennies somehow don’t exist anymore, so we have to round everything up. And then you’ll point out that they could just as easily round everything down. And then you’ll remind them of gasoline and property taxes, and they’ll act confused– or maybe they’ll actually be confused. New rounding schemes and new rounding scams will emerge, and… we’ll get used to them.

Anyhow. It disturbs me to think that the penny is rolling faster down the way of the dodo. I suspect that’s a little bit of worry about inflation, and a whole lot of shaking my fist at the clouds. To think that the obverse of the 1943 steel penny once served as favicon and graced the background of this august journal.

I am reminded of an open letter I wrote many years ago to then-President-elect Obama, in hopes of winning a patronage job:

7. Announce that pennies now count as nickels, and then slowly take them out of circulation, replacing them with real nickels. Put Lincoln on new dollar coins the size of the old Ike dollars. Also, start printing $500 bills again. I am not a crackpot.

–Me, “Advice as promised.”

Inflationary? Yes. As inflationary as anything else the feds have done in the meantime? No. Self-serving, given the countless rolls of pennies I’ve stashed in caches and safehouses all over the country? Possibly.