Yesterday, while doing extensive research on napping, I read about the “one-second nap.” It has been attributed to Robert Louis Stevenson, Thomas Alva Edison, and Salvador Wilberforce Dalí, among others. I figured that since they were famous, I should listen to them.

I found a loose key and a dinner plate. I put the plate on the floor next to my armchair and sat down. The chair is, if I’m not mistaken, something like 70 years old, but it’s still just comfy enough to fall asleep in. I held the key in my hand– not too tightly– and positioned it above the plate. I flipped on the TV and tried to relax. You don’t have to watch the tube; you could just as easily listen to some music, or watch the clouds drift by, or watch fish do fish things.

After a few minutes, I felt a little bit groggy, my eyelids felt a little bit heavy…

…and I must’ve started to drift off…

…and then my grip on the key relaxed a little and then

CLANG-CLADADDLE-addle! Wide awake.

Now, a key clattering against a plate isn’t that loud, but it is alarming. That’s rather the point. I was refreshed and alert, as much as if I’d awakened from a much longer nap. Apparently, it’s because of all sorts of sciencey stuff having to do with the interruption of the descent into sleep. It was a 30-minute “power nap” crammed into just a few seconds.

A bit more reading revealed that the aforementioned gentlemen found that the process somehow allowed them to tap their “superconscious” and thus become more creative. I cannot report any semblance of heightened consciousness or any increase in creativity, so Lord-only-knows what else they were doing before they nodded off to their split seconds of sleep.

…

Tomorrow is the last day I have my own designated parking spot at work, unless I join the administration or become a designated visitor.