Osama bin Laden’s a bastard and here’s to catching him before he dies horribly of chronic renal failure, and then… and then what? What should we do to bin Laden if we catch him? Let Bush talk him to death? Pump him full of staples and force him to go through airport security? Release him on the streets of midtown Manhattan? I’ll take suggestions.
–Me, “Je vous salue, Elan Davout,” September 11, 2005.
I would’ve preferred to catch bin Laden alive and put him through as demeaning a “trial” (wink-wink-nudge-nudge) and imprisonment as possible before executing him and desecrating his corpse in some subtle but plausibly deniable way (President Obama: “How was I supposed to know the handcuffs, jumpsuits, transports, cells, defense table, injection table, IV and bodybag were lined with lard?”).
But this’ll do for now. There may be blowback, but this’ll do for now.
Crowds are singing “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” on TV. Beautiful.