Osama bin Laden’s a bastard and here’s to catching him before he dies horribly of chronic renal failure, and then… and then what? What should we do to bin Laden if we catch him? Let Bush talk him to death? Pump him full of staples and force him to go through airport security? Release him on the streets of midtown Manhattan? I’ll take suggestions.

–Me, “Je vous salue, Elan Davout,” September 11, 2005.

I would’ve preferred to catch bin Laden alive and put him through as demeaning a “trial” (wink-wink-nudge-nudge) and imprisonment as possible before executing him and desecrating his corpse in some subtle but plausibly deniable way (President Obama: “How was I supposed to know the handcuffs, jumpsuits, transports, cells, defense table, injection table, IV and bodybag were lined with lard?”).

But this’ll do for now. There may be blowback, but this’ll do for now.

Crowds are singing “Na Na Hey Hey Kiss Him Goodbye” on TV. Beautiful.

7 thoughts on “FBL.

  1. Definitely one of the most unanimously patriotic moments I can remember since the days following 9/11. I was on facebook at the time and it lit up for about two hours with posts about it, and the crowds in the streets, quite a sight to behold. Wearing red, white, and blue to school today. I agree, beautiful.


  2. I would like to praise Obama for doing something correctly for the first time in his presidency. For a couple years I was thinking he’d end up like Grant or Carter. But this (which he has little to do with) notches Obama up past Grant in my book, but still keeping him below Jackson, Thus making the list:
    44th Best: Carter
    43rd Best: FDR
    42nd Best: Grant
    41st: Obama
    40th: Jackson


  3. Yes it was a Joke:
    Carter being worse because he ran against Reagan in 1980
    FDR: because his economic policy was the opposite of all fiscal conservatives
    Grant: Well I just hate the man
    Obama: What good thing has he done (with exception to Osama being killed of course)
    Jackson: I just think he made politics the way it is today (or at least as bad)


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