The shame of a noble city.

For the record, I am shocked and appalled that any politician hailing from Chicago could be even remotely linked to any sort of corrupt activity. Rod Blagojevich owes an apology to the entire state of Illinois. But before he does, he should publicly get on his knees and beg for forgiveness from past holders of the governorship he has now sullied—giants such as Otto Kerner, Jr., Dan Walker, and George Ryan (#16627-424).

Chicago must be humiliated to know that one of her sons had stooped so low as to seek filthy, dirty money in exchange for an appointment to the Senate, that august upper chamber of the United States Congress. What must the current Mayor Daley think of him? What must Dan Rostenkowski, whose congressional seat was once held by Blagojevich, think of him? What would Chicago’s long-dead statesmen—Mayor Daley the First, Big Bill Thompson, Alphonse Capone—think of him? He owes them… heck, he owes every voter currently residing in Chicago’s cemeteries a sincere apology and a meaningful act of penance.

But more than anyone else, Barack Obama, the President-Elect himself, deserves an apology from Governor Blagojevich. Surely Mr. Obama knew nothing of these goings-on and, being a trusting soul, had not even the faintest inkling that Blagojevich—a man he’d worked with as a state legislator, a man he’d advised during campaigns and whose support he sought in his own campaigns—would try to sell access to Obama’s old Senate seat. Thank the heavens that we got Barack out of Illinois politics before it could taint him.

Seriously, though, Blagojevich sucks and needs to rot in prison.

A little research reveals that Kerner went to prison in part because he accepted bribes in exchange for placing expressway exits near a particular racetrack in Arlington Heights, Illinois. When I’d drive up to see my aunts, I’d take one of those exits to get to their house. Thanks, Otto! You probably saved me a few hours’ worth of driving time over the last few years.


  1. Asim Abbasi Says:

    Hey, I can’t figure out if you’re being sarcastic about Barack Obama when you said “Surely Mr. Obama knew nothing of these goings-on and, being a trusting soul, had not even the faintest inkling …”

    Asim (Strong Barack Obama supporter)

    December 12th, 2008 at 3:35 pm
  2. Doctor Hmnahmna Says:

    Now we know the real reason you couldn’t get a job in Illinois. You didn’t offer enough to Rod. Gotta pay to play.

    December 18th, 2008 at 10:41 am
  3. Vincent Viscariello Says:


    I can’t figure out if you’re being sarcastic by asking. This probably means we haven’t hung out in too long.

    December 19th, 2008 at 5:39 pm