Happy 247th birthday to the United States, and happy 151st birthday to Calvin Coolidge!

…

I started typing a lengthy complaint about the colors of the US national teams’ jerseys, only to decide that they’re not as egregiously far from the correct American shades of red and blue as I originally thought. So that went into the circular file, and I decided to go with a toast:

May your burgers and dogs be grilled to perfection, may your beverages slake your thirst amidst the outdoor sun and steam, and may you fell any Redcoat or Hessian who dares cross you!

God bless America!