A few months back, at ’06’s ten-year reunion, to which I was graciously invited, and which I happily attended, though it was a little bit awkward being the oldest person in the room by a decent margin, though come to think of it I wasn’t the oldest because the other teachers who showed up were a bit older than me, but either way I didn’t stick around too long because those reunions are about kids reconnecting with kids, and I’d prefer that they remember me as existing only within the confines of the school because it helps maintain a mystique conducive to discipline in the classroom and a good reputation outside it, a kid asked me a question.

The question was, “So have you bought your tickets to Canada?”

No, I’m not moving to Canada or anywhere else for that matter. The presidential candidates are the screw-ups; why should I have to leave?

This election is bizarre and horrifying. The fact that Hillary and Trump are the worst candidates in my life depresses me enough that I don’t want to think about this election. The fact that the best argument for Major Party Candidate X is that X is not Other Major Party Candidate Y has depressed me enough that I haven’t felt like writing about it for some time. And the fact that the internets are saturated with election-related data, analysis, memes, commentary, etc., to a degree heretofore unknown makes me feel like I have little to contribute to any conversation, even a conversation that on average is followed by under six people per day. But I’ll say these few things, for the record:

1. You’ll often hear folks say they’re sick of the same old partisan politics (I am not one of said people), and that they’d love to see a candidate who speaks his mind, who is unbeholden to anyone, who is willing to work with both sides. Well, that’s Trump, except that he’s a colossal @*#&$^%. If Trump were less of a jerk, not only would he have won the GOP nomination a lot earlier, this election would already be over.

2. I don’t like Hillary. I think she’s the most corrupt major party nominee for President since Nixon and LBJ (though she might be worse than either, and no, I’m not kidding). It has worried me from the get-go that her campaign has hidden her from the public and the press as much as possible, and that the press has largely played along. Hopefully the “pneumonia” is a minor non-issue and she is in good health, because she’s likely to win the White House and her judgement is poor enough without additional health problems.

3. Given their age and how much everybody hates them, I think both candidates would benefit from announcing that they’ll serve just one term and not seek re-election. “I promise that I will not waste one second seeking another term; that I will spend every second doing the best job I can,” etc.

4. I think a Trump presidency would have one huge and important advantage for over a Hillary presidency: Congress would check and balance him more than they have any President in several decades (i.e., they’d actually bother to do their jobs). No way Congress would fight President Hillary as hard as they’d fight President Trump.

More later.