Congratulations to my little brother and his wife on the birth of their daughter “Jensniece”! She escaped the womb at 9:24 last night, July 29th, and left no evidence of a vanishing twin, which is less rare in my family than you’d normally expect. This means two things:

1. I am a real live uncle!

2. I have an exception to the no-gifting policy (although a niece is not technically a “descendant,” but whatever)!

I hereby jubilate.

…

No, that’s not her real name.