On FIFA ’10, I play as Barcelona mainly because of the front line of Lionel Messi, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, and Thierry Henry. I’d like to know why Messi can score four goals against a strong opponent in the Champions League in real life, but I can’t get his pixelated counterpart to score more than a goal or two against anybody. Not even when I play on medium difficulty against La Liga’s bottom-feeders.

A blast from outside the box, a shot catching the keeper going the wrong way, a chip, and a nutmeg. It looked so easy that you had to wonder why the pros don’t score that many goals on a regular basis. I guess he’s just that much better than everyone else right now. That makes me worry for the safety of his knees and ankles at the World Cup. Hacks like to hack the greats when the Cup is on the line, and the hacks tend not to pay a big enough price for it. We will see.

South Africa can’t get here fast enough.