One of my good buddies at work is a teensy tiny bit to my left when it comes to economics–he calls himself a “Marxist”–but he’ll occasionally say things that reek of rational free-market thought. I’ve decided to transcribe these heartless, cutthroat, oil-the-gears-of-capitalism-with-the-blood-of-the-workers outbursts. I’m not sure what I’ll do with them beyond reprinting them here. Maybe I’ll have them put on t-shirts or coffee mugs.

Here are the first two:

1. “Money frees up my time.” (In reference to tutoring students outside school.)

2. “Tissue costs money.” (In reference to not buying tissue for his students to use.)

Now that I think about it, I’ve got to put “Money frees up my time” on a coffee mug.