Lessee…

Clemson got caught looking ahead to next weekend’s ACC title game, and got worked by South Cackalacky 34-17. The bright side is that they’re still in that title game, and if they beat Georgia Tech they’re on to a BCS bowl.

Worse, I’ve had November 25th marked on the calendar for months because it was the US release date for The Road–but it’s not playing anywhere around here. The closest showing in the next few weeks is somewhere around Winter Park, more than two hours away. The theaters around here won’t show the film adaptation of a powerful, post-apocalyptic, Pulitzer Prize-winning instant classic, but they will block off multiple screens for those g@#$%^&*d emo sparkle vampires.

And worst of all, the Bears got hammered 36-10 by the Vikings and have no hope of making the playoffs. So much for the Cutler experiment, but I just can’t believe that they’d be doing any better with Orton at quarterback. There’s no offensive line, the defense has vaporized, the offensive play-calling is still atrocious (and I’ve been hoping they’d fire Ron Turner since before Super bowl XLI), and Lovie Smith is not exactly confidence-inspiring. Time to start a two- or three-year plan: fire the coaches, bring in Cowher or Shanahan, rebuild the offensive line, and bring in the best QB coaches and sports psychiatrists money can buy to get Cutler’s head straight. No bright side for the time being.

And the pressure in my sinuses still hasn’t gone away. So much for birthday wishes.

If not for a pretty good belated birthday dinner last night, there would be absolutely no hope for anyone crossing my path in the next couple days.