An e-mail from a former student:

Greetings, Mr. Viscariello.

Do you know anything about the Presidents of the US all being related to English aristocracy, most of them descendants of Charlemagne and King Edward III? Do you think/know if this is just another conspiracy theory or factual information?

I have done some research and looked at what is claimed to be the family tree of some Presidents, all information pointing to the theory that we have been ruled by the same bloodline since the beginning of the US.

Your thoughts?

John Birch [NOTE: Name changed to protect his identity from the Illuminati]

My response:

Dear John Birch,

> Do you know anything about the Presidents of the US all being related to English aristocracy, most of them descendants of Charlemagne and King Edward III?

It would surprise me if all of them were related to Charlemagne and/or Edward III, but it would not surprise me if most of them were.

>Do you think/know if this is just another conspiracy theory or factual information?

Whether it’s factual is a matter for historians and genealogists. If it’s a conspiracy, then the point of said conspiracy is beyond me. Charlemagne lived in the 700’s and 800’s; it’s difficult to plan ahead 1,200 years.

> I have done some research and looked at what is claimed to be the family tree of some Presidents, all information pointing to the theory that we have been ruled by the same bloodline since the beginning of the US.

If that’s true, it may be no more meaningful than any other statistical artifact. Every human being on Earth is related if you go back far enough, meaning that we have been ruled by the same bloodline all along: Adam and Eve’s.

If you want to be a little more narrow in your perception of bloodlines, then I suppose that Charlemagne is as good a candidate as anyone else for being a “common ancestor” of the Presidents. It wouldn’t surprise me to know that he was a common ancestor for a huge percentage of western Europeans (I point this out because each president has had some western European lineage). After all, being an emperor, the guy probably had far more kids than the average western European. However, there may be other people, even contemporaries of Charlemagne, who were also common ancestors of most of western Europe. But who are we more likely to notice in our family trees from the 700’s and 800’s, Charlemagne or “Mike the Farmer”?

And so what if we have been “ruled by the same bloodline since the beginning of the US”? I look at America compared to the rest of the world and I’ve got to admit that I’ll take our particular set of dynastic plutocrats over anybody else’s, anyday.

Regards,

Mr. V.

In the interest of full disclosure, I am a consultant to the Trilateral Commission and I play for the Bilderberg Group’s corporate softball team.