I made sure to drink plenty of water and Gatorade well ahead of today’s games. It paid off; now I’m just sore and winded, instead of sore, winded and dehydrated.

The first game went pretty darned well. It was hot, but overcast, so that was a huge help. We gave up an early goal, but then got things under control and won 5-1–and Your Humble Narrator scored all five goals. Sure, the other team was a man down the whole game, and yes, all I had to do was stand in front of the net, wait for everybody else on the team to pass circles around the bad guys, and then tap it past the girl who probably had never played goalie before, and I’ll grant that I scored one because she forgot she was allowed to pick up the ball on a certain play, but still– five unanswered goals! A natural hat trick plus two! I hereby congratulate myself.

But the real highlight came when, with a minute or two left in the game, my team’s captain–a female–threw some whiner from the other team to the ground (he had tried to take out her already damaged knee) and he came up ready to swing, screaming, “You’re a bunch of superstars, right? You have seven players, we got six, superstars!” She probably would’ve killed him but another teammate held her back. Awesome.

My second game (for my other team) could’ve gone better. We tied, one-all, with Yours Truly scoring, but also missing three or four good opportunities. We were happy enough with the result, considering we played short for the entire second half and were missing some of our stronger players.

So, a win, a tie, all six of my teams’ goals, no cramps, no palpitations, no dizzy spells, and no symptoms of dehydration. I can’t expect to score that many goals on a regular basis, but I didn’t almost die. That’s a good day.