The last day of school.

This morning I slept in all the way until five after seven. I showered, shaved, and then cursed myself for shaving because I’d forgotten that today was the last day of “post-planning.” The day we’re untouchable because the kids are gone for the summer and there’s nothing but eight weeks of vacation to look forward to. The day to stick it to The Man by going to work with face unshorn. Oh well.

I schlepped into my classroom around eight. It was already 83 degrees. I do not look forward to walking in there after two months of no AC. I locked up as much stuff as I could in my file cabinets and shoved them in the closet. I threw darts at my class roster to see whose grades I should lower, and burned the real grade books.

The low point of the last day of post-planning is having to stuff report cards, test results, and other paperwork into envelopes to mail to the kids. We livened it up a bit by switching kids’ report cards, pouring glitter in the envelopes, and playing hangman on the FCAT result sheets. We left half the envelopes unsealed, finished up around nine-thirty, and had free time until noon.

There were Xbox and Wii tournaments being played on media projectors in a few classrooms. I don’t know what games they were playing; if it isn’t Winning Eleven (or whatever Konami calls it now), I don’t care. Some of my coworkers went swimming in the pool, some of them just tanned. Someone set up a poker game in one lounge and a roulette wheel in the other. We took the billiards tables out of storage and played money games in the gym until noon. I was down three grand by the time the caterers arrived.

The luncheon was excellent, as always. We broke out the good china and the crystal wine goblets the district buys new every year. For starters, I had a cup of pygmy rabbit stew—I don’t think they’re considered endangered in this part of the country. The main course was plate after plate of stone crab with hot drawn butter, some slightly burnt toast, and a Chateau de Bleuchamp ’87. Dessert was a simple peach sorbet.

An hour nap after lunch, and then at two my whole department went out and got matching tattoos—the College Board acorn logo. Most of us got them on the right deltoid, but my former department chair already had the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel there, so she got hers on the palm of each hand. She didn’t even flinch.

At least that’s how I remember it. At the end of the day, we all wished each other well and headed our separate ways for a restful summer. Another year in the books.