Yesterday was graduation at the Veterans’ Memorial Arena. Some thoughts:
• Our society needs to move towards a more gown-intensive wardrobe. Academic robes are comfortable, easy to throw on, and you can wear whatever you want underneath them. Additionally, they make everyone look like wiser, like judges, religious elders, and samurai. Plenty of room for a katana under there.
• The speeches were… interesting. Those of you who thought you’d wander this Earth without hearing the words “millions of sperm and eggs” in a commencement ceremony, lay rest those fears.
• I think that the more pragmatic the advice, the more effective the advice. The best and most practical advice given at yesterday’s ceremony was, “Don’t get married with the expectation that you’re going to change the other person.” I applauded. More than a few of my co-workers cringed.
• The best advice I can give to any graduate preparing for college and life beyond is, “Don’t pack any hangers. They take up too much space in the car, and you can buy a dozen for a buck when you get to college.”
• I’m fairly certain we screwed up the simple act of passing out the diplomas. Each student’s diploma had been paperclipped (real word?) to a coversheet with the student’s name on it. After handing out five or six of them, I realized that whoever had done the paperclipping had mismatched some of the sheepskins and coversheets. Whoops. My mistake was failing to ensure that each kid was actually getting the right papers. I caught two or three kids who had walked off with the wrong diplomas, got them the right ones, and hoped there weren’t any other mismatches. But if there were…
Attention recipient of somebody else’s diploma: I humbly apologize for my mistake and hope you find the right diploma. Contact the school if necessary and curse my incompetence if desired.
4 Responses to “On graduation ‘07.”
- gatorbob Says:
June 1st, 2007 at 9:01 PM. I’ve got lots of love for the Doc, but I have to agree that that speech was one of the weirder ones I’ve heard at a commencement ceremony – and PJ O’Rourke was the speaker at one of mine!
He seemed to be channeling some late nights watching old musicals on AMC with references to Doris Day (how many of the ‘07 class have any idea who Doris was?) and “The Sound of Music.” Truly bizarre!
- VDV Says:
June 2nd, 2007 at 12:30 PM. If they don’t remember Doris Day, perhaps they remember the intro to Heathers–which makes the reference even more strange.
- HallPassHoarder11 Says:
June 3rd, 2007 at 12:22 AM. I agree that Dr. Williams speech was a little weird, but the best part for me was when the doc belted “can i get a testimony” and
select parents got to their feet to cheer. Also i definetly second you on the idea of a more “gown-intensive wardrobe” I had to wear gowns as a former catholic altar boy, and it was quite comfortable.
- twink Says:
June 22nd, 2007 at 8:38 PM. I had Dr. Williams as a principal long before he was at Stanton or Paxon and believe me, he’s calmed down.