At first glance, the average red-blooded American male might hope that Colleen Pavelka does seminars:

Nine months pregnant and married to a fervent Bears fan with tickets to Sunday’s NFC Championship game, Colleen Pavelka didn’t want to risk going into labor during the game against the New Orleans Saints.

Due to give birth on Monday, Pavelka’s doctor told her Friday she could induce labor early. She opted for the Friday delivery.

“I thought, how could [Mark] miss this one opportunity that he might never have again in his life?” said Pavelka, 28, from the southwestern Chicago suburb of Homer Glen.

I love the Bears, and am thrilled to death that they’re going to the Super Bowl. I hope they win. I also hope one day to marry a Bears fan with a name more pronounceable than my own, even if only marginally so. And upon first reading this story, I wanted to marry a girl just like Mrs. Pavelka (sight unseen, granted).

But then I saw the trap: if a wife loves her husband enough that she’d induce labor so he wouldn’t miss a football game, the husband had better love her enough that he’d miss the football game so she wouldn’t induce labor—or at least he’d better have enough good sense to miss a game that conflicted with his child’s impending birth.

When your wife says, “It’s okay, honey, I’ll undergo an expensive and medically unnecessary procedure so that you can go to the big game,” there is, believe it or not, a correct response. That response is to say, “No, my dearest sweetie-pookums, there’s no rush. Let the baby arrive on his own time, and I’ll be there for you no matter when the baby comes—besides, how could I miss this one opportunity that I might never have again in my life?”

Methinks Mr. Pavelka has no idea how deep a hole he’s dug for himself. Was he so blinded by the Bears’ game that he couldn’t see any further into the future than Sunday afternoon? Doesn’t he realize that the reason he’ll never have another argument with his wonderful, understanding, selfless wife is that he’s preemptively forfeited all of them? He will never get his way on anything ever again. The fool.

There could be a simpler, less sinister explanation. Perhaps she, too, is a huge Bears fan who simply wanted to watch the game in peace, without her husband around. Or perhaps the induction was no big deal either way.

…

Glad the Bears won–but if they hadn’t, the only other pro team coached by The Ditka would have gone to the Super Bowl. How can we not see his hand in all matters?

One Response to “Wife of the Year.”

1. alwayswet Says:
   February 20th, 2007 at 10:55 PM

that is alittle ridiculous