I just saw an ad for a “Nightline” segment titled “Celebrities Unmuzzled”—as if they had actually been censored, or even quiet for a while. Please.

…

A year ago, one of my students made me promise to attend her graduation, and I made her promise to graduate on time. We certified the promise with the witnessed linking and shaking of pinky fingers, and we both kept our words.

At Paxon’s Senior Breakfast on Tuesday, I chose my new Favorite Student of All Time: G.B., who asked if I had grown taller since she saw me last. Thank you, G.B. If I ever win the lottery, I’ll give you a new car, a new house, and an exemption from the “Torneo De La Muerte.”

On Wednesday, I attended my once and future workplace’s graduation as promised. It was nice to sit up in the stands and not have to worry about what line to stand in, how to wear my hood and mortarboard properly, or whether my department chair would harrass me because my gown was creased.

There were a few parts here and there that were a little bit hokey, but I suppose that’s how commencements are supposed to be. The speakers weren’t obnoxious, the songs weren’t obnoxious, and the audience wasn’t obnoxious—though it would have been nice if they hadn’t “ooohed” the Valedictorian’s mention of The Other School. Ms. Blaylock’s presentation was a nice addition to the ceremony, and the presentation of Daniel’s diploma to Mrs. Snow was touching. The selection of “Shout” for the recessional song was inspired, and capped the most pleasant graduation ceremony I’ve seen.

Thank God and the Graduates that that none of the pranks, protests, put-ons… um… pungency… or pugilism that I feared came to pass. Actually, someone set off a stink bomb near one of the exits, so there was a bit of pungency. And I suppose that the surprise performance of “Ain’t Too Proud To Beg” could be construed as a prank, but that was enjoyable so we’ll let it slide.

I didn’t get to see all my former students—well, technically, I did, just not up close. I apologize to those students who wanted to see me but didn’t, as well as to those students who wanted not to see me but did. Either way, I hope you all go on to great happiness and prosperity, and I hope college seems easy compared to Paxon.

2 Responses to “Pinky Promise.”

1. Doctor Hmnahmna Says:
   May 26th, 2006 at 6:18 PM

Once and Future Employer? Are you giving up on Chicago?

And check this out:
http://articles.news.aol.com/news/article.adp?id=20060525140409990025

1. donnimikk Says:
   May 26th, 2006 at 11:15 PM

yoooo… thanks for coming… I cant even tell you how happy i was to see you. Sorry you caught me at a bad time, but it was good seeing you. Keep on keepin on in Chicago. I am sure it is probably a million times better than Cowford. I also am curious as to what you referred to when mentioning Paxon as your once and FUTURE employer? Anyways, hope to see you again one day.