Those who participated in today’s pro-illegal-immigration walkout are not scoring many sympathy points with me. First of all, it disgusts me to hear any analogy between “people who entered the country illegally and are demanding rights, including citizenship” and the 1960s Civil Rights Movement, aka “people who demanded respect for and protection of the rights to which they were legally entitled by virtue of being citizens.”

Second, it disgusts me that the walkout was held on May Day, a holiday with connections to anarchism, socialism, and communism. Why folks opposed to any government use the same holiday as folks who want total government control is beyond me, but that’s life.

Third, and most importantly, when I went to the Wendy’s in Glen Ellyn this evening, it was closed.

Big mistake.

The flippant part of me—which is to say, “I”—would like to point out that you don’t show that you’re here to work peacefully by staging a nationwide walkout on a socialist holiday (the origin of which, by the way, was Chicago’s Haymarket Square Riot). And you sure as hell don’t do it by keeping me away from my Spicy Chicken Combo, no mayo, Coke to drink, biggie-sized please. This means war.

Thus, I hereby resolve that I, Vincent Dominic Viscariello, shall boycott Wendy’s—every single Wendy’s in the United States of America—for one month.

This will accomplish two goals. First, it will financially cripple Wendy’s and show them that they have no hope of survival without catering to my tastes. Second, it’ll probably be good for my health, or something, I guess.

This boycott will require tremendous willpower on my part. It will be difficult, but there’s a principle at stake here, a principle more important than a steamy chicken breast filet, encrusted in spices, herbs and peppers, on a toasty Kaiser roll with lettuce and tomato, a box full of hot, sugary-salty fries fresh from the vat, and a fountain-poured Coke with just the right amount of ice chips…

I will inform them of my decision when they open tomorrow at ten in the morning. And then probably again at night just to make sure the night crew knows about it. And then later this week, I’ll check back to remind them. I mean it.

Oh right, the principle. The principle is that we are a nation of laws, and keep the Wendy’s open or else.

2 Responses to “It’s on.”

1. donnimikk Says:
   May 3rd, 2006 at 8:12 PM

i totally agree even though i just think its funny… i told paco he was a sellout for bein at school monday…

1. Vincent Viscariello Says:
   May 3rd, 2006 at 11:34 PM

Paco is not a sellout because Paco is a citizen. And if this is the week I think it is, Paco probably had AP or IB exams to take.