Haven’t done this in a while. The following attempt to make gypsum of the old writer’s block came from this hyperlinked oh wait it’s not there anymore. Probably should have finished writing this a year ago, when I first started.

https://www.tinypulse.com/blog/sk-questions-to-ask-employees

1. WHO INSPIRED YOU TO PURSUE THE CAREER YOU HAVE TODAY? Whoever tinkered with the brakes on the industrial tugger that nearly killed me. That guy inspired me to get a marginally less dangerous job.

2. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE MUSIC GENRE? Soundtracks. 

3. DO YOU HAVE A PET? WHAT’S HE/SHE LIKE? Now I do. I discovered a mouse– possibly a rat, possibly a really tiny nutria, didn’t get that good a look at it before it got away– in my classroom closet the other day. Can’t say I’ve known it long enough to comment on its personality.

4. RECOMMEND A BOOK YOU RECENTLY READ. The White Pill. Largely but certainly not exclusively a history of Soviet communism, its engineers, and its полезные дураки.

5. WHAT’S YOUR SECRET TALENT THAT NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT? Nice try, FBI.

6. WHICH MOVIE HAVE YOU SEEN RECENTLY OR WHAT ARE YOU WATCHING ON NETFLIX? 3 Body Problem. I loved the novels and was prepared to be disappointed by the occasional minds that brought us the last few years of Game of Thrones. There is some naughty language and a scene of horrifying nudity, but aside from that the disappointment has not yet materialized. They’ve made some good choices about what to trim, modify, and gloss over from the novels.

7. WHAT’S THE CRAZIEST THING YOU’VE EVER DONE OR SEEN BEFORE? Too many things come to mind. I’ll go with switching to strawberry jelly for PB&Js. Thank God everything turned out OK.

8. WHAT’S THE BEST MEAL YOU’VE EVER HAD? This is tough. I’ll have to go with the ribeye dinner I had for my 40th birthday. The steak is still ranked just third on the list of all steaks I’ve ever had, but the lobster bisque and risotto elevated it to the top spot in the Meal category. And this ranking doesn’t even include the birthday cake, which was top-5 all-time.

9. WHAT ARE YOUR PET PEEVES? …Nice try, FBI.

10. DO YOU HAVE TRADITIONS IN YOUR FAMILY? Yes.

11. WHAT WAS THE FIRST THING YOU BOUGHT WITH YOUR OWN MONEY? This is tough, for a few reasons. First, it depends on what you mean by “your own money.” Certain cynics, philosophers, ancestors, and federal officials would contend that none of my money is actually my own money. And there might be a distinction between money I earned and money given to me as a gift. But the earliest thing that I absolutely know I bought with my own earned money was a six-nugget combo at a KFC on San Jose. That was in 1992, and I want to say it was about $3.19.

12. IS THERE SOMETHING THAT HAS MADE YOU SMILE RECENTLY? The “check engine” light turning off for no apparent reason.

13. WHAT’S THE BEST ADVICE YOU CAN GIVE TO SOMEONE WHO JUST STARTED THEIR CAREER? It’s easier to find a job when you already have a job than when you don’t. So if you hate your job, then (barring egregious harassment or abuse) keep it until you get your new one. Probably not the sort of advice you wanted, but it’s the best I can do.

14. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE VIDEO/BOARD GAMES AND WHY? My favorite video game is Pac-Man because I understand it. My favorite board game is chess because I don’t understand it. Great subject-verb agreement, by the way.

15. DO YOU COOK? WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE RECIPE? Yes. Take steak out of fridge. Salt both sides. Wait an hour. Cook in oven for a little bit, then sear both sides in a hot pan for a little bit. Do this until it’s right. Then stop. Then wait five minutes. Then eat it.  

16. PINEAPPLE PIZZA. YAY OR NAY? Nay. I don’t think less of anyone for wanting pineapple on pizza.

17. WHAT IS THE STRANGEST MEAL YOU’VE EVER EATEN? Eel sushi. It wasn’t bad at all, but… jeez, burger place was right next door. I couldn’t help but wonder what the point was, and what it meant about where my life had taken me.

…

Just thought of another one: apples and sliced garlic. Not terrible, but strange.

18. WHAT’S YOUR WEIRDEST HABIT? I started crossing my 0s, 7s, and Zs to be ironic, and now I can’t stop.

19. ARE YOU A BEER OR WINE PERSON? No.

20. WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE BAND 10 YEARS AGO? 10 years ago, might’ve been The The.

21. IF YOU HAD A YACHT, WHAT WOULD YOU NAME IT? e24.

22. WHICH FICTIONAL FAMILY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE PART OF? The House of El.

23. HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOUR JOB TO A BUNCH OF FIVE-YEAR-OLDS? “I teach big kids.”

24. SHOW THE BEST MEME YOU HAVE IN YOUR PHONE. I don’t store memes in my phone. I store photographs of credit card receipts and regular household items whose locations I might forget.

25. HOW WOULD YOU SPEND A MILLION DOLLARS IN 24 HOURS? Pay off my mortgage and buy as much real estate as possible.

26. WHAT’S THE COOLEST THING YOU’RE WORKING ON RIGHT NOW? This.

27. HOW DO YOU LIKE TO GET FEEDBACK? From downrange, for the sake of a quick retort.

28. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST JOB? Lining (back before it was called “A-R-ing”) youth soccer for literally a couple bucks a game. But my first tax-paying job was as a clerk selling shoes and other soccer-related sundries at the Soccer Stop on San Jose.

29. IF YOU COULD GET A NEW SKILL IN 10 MINUTES, WHAT WOULD IT BE? Breathing properly while asleep. That would undoubtedly provide the fastest improvement to my life.

30. WHAT ARE THE TOUGHEST CHALLENGES YOU’VE HAD AT WORK? …Nice try, DCPS.

31. WHAT UPCOMING TECHNOLOGICAL INNOVATION WILL DRAMATICALLY IMPACT THE INDUSTRY IN THE NEXT FIVE YEARS? AI. More specifically, the increasingly rapid developments in AI are forcing us to determine what students need to have in their brains vs. what they need to know how to look up, or use AI to find.

32. WHAT SKILLS DO YOU THINK EVERYONE SHOULD LEARN? Digital-age critical thought. Car repair. Home repair. Cooking. Weightlifting. Stretching.

33. HAVE YOU TAKEN A HUGE LEAP OF FAITH AT WORK? DID IT PAY OFF? I do not take huge leaps of faith at work. My God, man, I work with humans in loco parentis. They aren’t to be gambled with.