VDV's Journal, Part IV

Today I turned one-third of a century old. To celebrate, I went to work, found out I’d have two more paid days of work after “post-planning,” bought five reams of printer paper, ate a french toast bagel with cream cheese and opened a bottle of cabernet sauvignon I received as a gift a while back. [...]

I’ve decided to start celebrating my birthday as a season, rather than as a single day. My birthseason shall begin on Halloween, is followed about a week-and-a-half later by a day off for Veterans’ Day (with the occasional Election Day thrown in-between), then what I like to call the “My Birthday-Thanksgiving Corridor” (November 22nd-28th), with [...]

It occurs to me that there’s nothing special about turning 31, or 32 for that matter. In some cultures, 33 is a big deal because that’s how old Christ was when he was crucified. So this year, instead of turning 31, I’m going to turn 29 again. That way, I can heighten the drama next [...]

Once upon a time, I was dining out with some good friends. They brought along a woman I didn’t know—let’s call her “Mensa”—presumably to try and set us up. What ensued was a perfect example of why I hate setups. The topic turned to birthdays on holidays, or shared with celebrities and historical figures. I [...]

No. Dear God, No. NOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Okay, well, yes. I really don’t see what the big deal is about turning thirty years old. My hair didn’t turn gray or fall out overnight, my bones don’t creak, nothing is any different than yesterday. It’s no big deal. Besides, on this birthday the entire nation is celebrating with me. I flipped on the [...]

When growing up, you go through a stretch where birthdays are more than mere parties featuring the eating of cake, slurping of punch, and opening of presents. Starting at about your tenth birthday, they take on greater significance; you look forward to them with greater eagerness than before, for they mark rites of passage into [...]