June 2007

Rule Number Four.

June 30, 2007

For your consideration, I offer a dull anecdote involving an old buddy, henceforth called “The Mole.” He’s hosting a soirée in Maryland in August, and called to talk me into driving 800 miles to feast on roasted pig. I told him I have some work-related commitments that might prevent me from going, and that after having [...]

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Gangsters are bad, Hillary.

June 24, 2007

It seems that whenever I begin to see the silver lining of a possible Hillary Clinton presidency, she does something that reminds me of the cloud. This past week it was the video announcing her campaign theme song. It mimicked the final scene of the final episode of The Sopranos, with Hillary flipping through songs in the [...]

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Ding.

June 14, 2007

Last night’s dream: After a long day at work, which for some reason resembled an academic museum combined with a commercial mall and a dungeon more than a high school, I go to my dad’s house. My younger sister has flown in from New Mexico and is in the kitchen, baking cookies. The kitchen appears [...]

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The “Cardinal Rule” revisited.

June 8, 2007

The Anaheim Ducks’ Stanley Cup championship provided a bit more support for my belief that “bad uniforms will make teams play worse.” The evidence is statistically weak but anecdotally strong, and it allows me to add “stupid team names” to what makes teams play worse. The Team With The Silliest Name in Professional Sports, the “Mighty [...]

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“There is no right frame of mind.”

June 5, 2007

This Atlas of the Universe just might be a precursor to a real-life Total Perspective Vortex, except that it failed to shatter my mind. If anything, it made me even more secure in my lack of interest in seeing any part of Europe outside the immediate vicinity of restaurants and soccer stadia.

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State mottos shouldn’t be ironic.

June 1, 2007

Today I am a little less proud to have been born in New Hampshire. The state legislature passed, and Governor Lynch said he would sign, a ban on smoking in restaurants and bars. I do not smoke and generally prefer not to be near smokers. But I would like to think that if I chose to [...]

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