██ ████ ███ ████, part one.

January 22, 2012 22:10 pm · 6 comments

A few days ago, Noutheteo asked:

From an economic standpoint, what is your opinion of SOPA/PIPA and the recent “blackout”? Is there a need for government to intervene with intellectual property laws, and if so, is the SOPA/PIPA route appropriate? On a similar note: any thoughts on the book Against Intellectual Monopoly?

I’m doing my best to read the book before I get another batch of essays to grade. It may well change my opinions on the matter of intellectual property, so there’ll be a part two coming along one day. Now, allow me to ramble:

Like the overwhelming majority of people who have commented on the matter, and probably like most congressmen who would vote on the matter, I haven’t read either SOPA or PIPA. The rumors and the one-page warnings worry me, though. I don’t like the idea that I could be punished because one of my commenters posts a link to protected materials.

If the feds already have the ability to shut down a website like Megaupload without SOPA/PIPA, then one wonders and worries about what additional purpose would SOPA/PIPA serve. If SOPA or PIPA were to pass, I think we’d someday see (hopefully futile) efforts to regulate political content on the internet, a la the old Fairness Doctrine.

I hope the government would act to protect my intellectual property just as they would act to protect other types of my property. The problem is one of cost and benefit as much as it is one of morality: at what point does it become simply unfeasible for the government to protect my property? There was no 50-man task force to track down the guy who tried breaking into my house three years ago– they had nothing to go on but a messed-up footprint. It is so simple and inexpensive to pirate IP, and so complicated and expensive to stop piracy, that one wonders if intellectual property law will soon resemble those warnings you see in deserts or mountains: proceed at your own risk. Publish at your own risk.

It looks like technology has come to the point where we have to revolutionize intellectual property law whether we want to or not. Either shift the paradigm, or watch the paradigm become useless.

Now that I think about it, maybe we have an unspoken contempt for intellectual property law. I’ve met a few people in the education field who were sincerely angry that someone might sell academic materials instead of freely giving them away.

I loved the day of protest, especially since I could still read Wikipedia via smartphone. In keeping with my the topics of my last few posts, I would point out that the reaction to SOPA was very Hayekean– “spontaneous order,” if you will.

But perhaps I’m conflating piracy with theft and/or plagiarism. I’ll have to finish the book, won’t I?

By the way, if you remember any part of this in your brain, I’m going to sue you.

…

I think there’s a much simpler way to explain the NFL’s playoff rule: it’s sudden-death, except that the game cannot end on a field goal on the first possession of OT.

{ 6 comments }

On Paul.

January 17, 2012 21:57 pm · 8 comments

An anonymous reader asks, “What are your thoughts on Ron Pauls rise in fame and in the polls. Is he the real deal? Or just another Ross Perot?”

Ron Paul has had an unusual effect on the political scene. Some pundit (I forget which one) pointed out that no other major party candidate in recent memory has gotten as many people reading as Ron Paul has. And I don’t mean the typical fluff that your typical presidential candidate puts out, I mean works of political philosophy and economics. (Unfortunately for him, some folks are also reading his old newsletters, which feature some questionable material.)

I’m not sure what, exactly, you mean by “the real deal.” Is Ron Paul sincere? Far more so than any other major party candidate of the last two presidential election cycles, with the possible exception of Elizabeth Kucinich’s husband. His consistency on the issues puts other politicians to shame, if such creatures were capable of such a condition. Does he have a shot at winning? Yes, but it’s remote. Is he going to win the Republican nomination? Nope.

Is he just another Ross Perot? Yes and no. Yes, in the sense that both are Texans who aren’t going to be President, they both focus heavily on the national debt, and they share initials. But the dissimilarities are legion. Paul is far more ideological than Perot. Paul has consistent, principled stances on a broad array of issues while nobody can remember what Perot talked about aside from the debt. Also, I think (I can’t prove it) that Perot ran due to spite towards George H. W. Bush more than anything else, while Paul is running based on genuine conviction. Furthermore, Paul’s not going to run as a third party candidate.

I remember when Perot was running and everyone was complaining about a debt of around $4 trillion. Good times.

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On Austrian economics.

January 15, 2012 21:54 pm · 9 comments

From the mailbag:

Last week, “Hard Candy” asked, “What is your opinion on the Austrian School of Economics?”

Before I respond, let me warn you that my answer would probably not please the purists of the Austrian (or “Vienna”) school or of the Keynesian (i.e., mainstream) school of economics. The Austrians would find reasons to call me a “socialist” or “statist,” the Keynesians would find reasons to call me an “anarchist” or “shill for the rich,” and both would find reasons to say I have no idea what I’m talking about. I’m not saying I’m going for the middle ground, I’m just saying that the purists tend to be a bit tightly wound.

I have a generally favorable opinion of the Austrian school. In fact, one of the my favorite blogs is Cafe Hayek, named for a Nobel Prize winning economist who was an Austrian in both the academic and, having been born in Vienna, the literal sense. If I may briefly continue to plug www.cafehayek.com, that’s www.cafehayek.com, allow me to quote myself:

“I like this website not merely for the subject matter, but also because of the authors: one was an economics professor at my alma mater; the other wrote The Invisible Heart, a novel about the adventures of a high school economics teacher.”

I should add that the one who taught at Clemson can be a bit abrasive at times. Anyhow, back to the subject. Why do I have a favorable opinion of the Austrian school? Two reasons: one that has to do with how Austrians and Keynesians look at the economy, and one that has to do with their policy prescriptions.

First, I sympathize with the Austrian view of our ability to understand the economy. The Keynesian school is essentially an attempt to create a “grand unified theory” of economics. The Austrian school makes a vitally important criticism of the Keynesian effort, which is that it’s never going to work. The world is too chaotic. There are too many people interacting in too many ways, too many times a day, with too many resources, under too many conditions that shift too quickly, for a single model to be all that useful in predicting what people are going to do.

To that, one might say, “But shouldn’t we study the economy and at least attempt to model it?” I say, sure. Go ahead and try to figure it out. It’s important that we try to figure it out as best we can, because the more knowledge, the better– but you’ve got to be willing to update the model constantly and incessantly, and you’ve got to understand you’re rolling a rock up a steep hill.

A ridiculously simplistic version of my first reason: is economics a “social science” or a “social study”? Keynesians: science. Austrians: study. I think the Austrians are right.

Second, I tend to oppose government intervention in the economy, as do most Austrian economists. The mere existence of Lord Keynes’s General Theory and its later iterations leads many folks (not necessarily economists, but “folks”) to believe that the economy can be “macro-managed,” and that central governments should intervene heavily in the economy. The Austrian school argues that economies are far too complicated to be managed from above. Again, I think it’s important to study the economy as scientifically as possible, even with Keynesian tools of analysis– but it seems to me that the more we learn about the economy, the more obvious it becomes that it is too complicated to be managed effectively by governments, especially as populations grow. I think most Austrian economists would agree with that view.

A more interesting question (not that Austria vs. Keynes is uninteresting) would have been whether I favor the Austrian/Vienna school or the Chicago school. I’d need time to ponder that one, preferably whilst eating a Chicago-style Vienna Beef hot dog. I just discovered Let’s Nosh down on San Jose this weekend, so my mind’s wandering thataway right now.

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Resolutions for 2012.

January 10, 2012 22:44 pm · 5 comments

Resolution time again. First, let’s have a look at my resolutions from all the way back in Twenny-Levvin went:

1. I shall ride the exerbike for thirty minutes (or engage in the substantial equivalent of other exercise) at least three times per week. Nope. I played a few seasons of 7v7 and rode the bike the first half of the year, then had to stop playing ball and the bike broke down. Oddly, the weight stayed down anyway.

2. I shall cook something I’ve never cooked before, and cook it at least three times to fine-tune the recipe. Errrrrrmmmmm… nope. Tinkered with the sweet-and-sour recipe a good bit, but not enough that it legally counts as a new meal. I’ll cook two this year to make up for it.

3. I shall write at least one journal entry each week. I shall not go seven days without posting an entry. Kept.

4. If a task or chore will take less than one minute to accomplish and I have a minute to spare, I shall do it immediately. Kept as much as possible.

5. On weekends and days off, I shall awaken and get out of bed before 9:19 AM. Nope. There were a handful of 10AM rise-and-shines in there, and it turns out that painkillers make it easy to sleep through alarms.

6. When I leave my classroom at the end of each day, my desktop will be clean, organized, and ready for the next day’s work. Kept. Now I need to amend this to include the top of the filing cabinet next to my desk.

7. I shall replace my mattress and give careful consideration to replacing the ‘Rolla. Kept. I did replace the mattress, and am quite content with my new mattress. Also, I did give careful consideration to replacing my car. Did I actually replace it? Keep reading.

8. I shall buy lunch no more than once per workweek. Nope. There were a few workweeks in the fall that saw me buy lunch twice.

9. I shall, to the best of my ability, follow the “orders” in the one-goofy-instruction-a-day book my sister gave me years ago. I abandoned this one right away, partly because I kept forgetting to check the instructions, partly because I didn’t want to get arrested.

10. On any day I collect essays, I shall grade at least ten of those essays. Not kept nearly often enough, but this is a good one and will get renewed.

11. I shall make a pencil sketch at least once a week. Nope. Well, yes, but only in the most technical sense… I know I drew the same frigates at sea over and over again on trivia scoresheets, post-its, and napkins. Wasn’t quite what I had in mind upon making the resolution.

12. I shall replace the mattress by summer’s end and the ‘Rolla by year’s end. The Department of Redundancy Department informs me that this should have been merged with Resolution #7. Either way, I replaced the mattress by summer’s end… but the ‘Rolla continued to run well, and “careful consideration” never turned into “kicking the tires and test-driving.”

Four of twelve. Not good. If the world is indeed going to end this coming December, I’m gonna have to go out on a high note. So let’s start with the renewed resolutions:

1. I shall ride the exerbike for thirty minutes (or engage in the substantial equivalent of other exercise) at least three times per week.

2. I shall cook two somethings I’ve never cooked before, and cook them at least three times each to fine-tune the recipes.

3. I shall write at least one journal entry each week. I shall not go seven days without posting an entry.

4. If a task or chore will take less than one minute to accomplish and I have a minute to spare, I shall do it immediately.

5. On weekends and days off, I shall awaken and get out of bed before 9:19 AM.

6. When I leave my classroom at the end of each day, my desktop and the top of the filing cabinet next to my desk shall be clean, organized, and ready for the next day’s work.

7. I shall buy lunch no more than once per workweek.

8. On any day I collect essays, I shall grade at least ten of those essays.

No newbies yet. I’ll add four along the way and entertain suggestions.

9. I shall make a 9th resolution before January 31st, 2012.

10. I shall make a 10th resolution before February 29th, 2012.

11. I shall make an 11th resolution before April 30th, 2012.

12. I shall make a 12th resolution before June 30th, 2012.

Here goes.

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The greatest presidential candidate yet.

January 8, 2012 18:54 pm · 2 comments

After more than a dozen debates, countless ads and interviews, oodles of fawning endorsements and myriad scathing critiques, I have selected a favorite presidential candidate: Rick Santorum.

A few months ago, I had the following to say about Rick:

…he seems bitter that he’s not getting as much attention as other folks, and nobody likes bitter (my life is a testament to such). He’s about a month away from acting completely resigned to losing, and I think he’ll drop out after Iowa.

Things haven’t played out that way. Thanks to being the flavor of the month for the anti-Romney and anti-Paul crowds at just the right time, Santorum finished a very strong second in Iowa. Some say that his popularity will drop upon further inspection, as did that of Bachmann, Perry, Cain, and Gingrich. But upon taking the closer look at the candidate that his unexpected success demanded, I realized that Rick is more than just the candidate I am compelled to support in this election.

I realized that Rick Santorum is the greatest candidate for President in the whole entire history of this great country. Thus far.

Careful research has revealed that Rick’s father was Italian, and Rick’s mother is half-Italian and half-Irish. This puts Rick as close to the ideal ethnic composition as we’ve ever seen in a major presidential candidate. Someone may one day come closer, since Aldo Santorum was from Trentino in the northern, lesser part of Italy instead of a vastly superior southern province like Benevento or Potenza.

Lest you think that I’m claiming that DNA is destiny, let me assure you that other factors contribute to his greatness. He lived in northern Virginia in his youth– not in Manassas, but in a pretty OK town I guess– and in a northern suburb of Chicago called Mundelein– which is a little further from Chicago than, say, Wheaton is. It is true that Santorum never lived in New Hampshire, Florida, or South Carolina, but he has compensated by being a far more devout Roman Catholic than the ideal candidate would be.

But what, one might ask, of his stance on the issues? Cutting to the chase, I looked at his stance on the biggest political issue of the last twenty-five years: the appointment of Samuel Alito to the Supreme Court. Senator Santorum voted to confirm Justice Alito. I am on record as heartily supporting Alito’s confirmation.

November 6th is still a long way off. The other candidates, Obama included, may raise their standings through careful preparation. Barring the entrance of a superior candidate into the race, I have no choice but to endorse Rick Santorum for President of the United States of America.

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Despair.

January 2, 2012 22:49 pm · 1 comment

Yesterday I attended a Jaguars game for the first time. Before you ask how it’s possible I’ve lived here so long without going to a Jags game, let me assure you that it’s been quite easy. Anyhow, at halftime, a marching band from a not-so-local high school performed “All Along the Watchtower,” which, as the announcer mentioned, was made famous by Jimi Hendrix.

A brief thought on poetry: if you look at the average high-school English reader, you’re not going to find too much that was written in the post-1960-ish. That’s not to say nothing worthy of academic study has been written; it certainly has. I think it’s a combination of two factors. First, stuff written that recently hasn’t been around long enough to be recognized as great or timeless poetry. Second, the people we would’ve called poets in centuries past are now writing rock songs (I would’ve written “pop songs,” but that probably would’ve offended songwriters more than “lumping all the different genres in with rock” would). Throw Bob Dylan (who wrote “Watchtower”) or Smokey Robinson (whom Dylan once called “America’s greatest living poet”) a little further back in time, and they’re poets, not songwriters.

So the boy sitting right behind me asked his dad, “What song did they say this is?” It was perfectly reasonable question, given the boy’s age and the difficulty of understanding the announcer.

The dad responded, “‘All Along the Watchtower.’ It’s a Dave Matthews song.”

Sure it is, just like “Behind Blue Eyes” is a Limp Bizkit song, “American Pie” is a Madonna song, and Psycho is a Gus Van Sant movie.

…

I was also reminded that the celebrations-after-anything-other-than-a-touchdown look even more silly live than they do on television. Act like you’re not playing Pop Warner ball anymore.

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I miss 2011 already.

January 1, 2012 11:29 am · 0 comments

Last year was a pretty good year. To wit:

I had a few good seasons of 7v7 soccer.

My glorious visage adorned the hallway of my workplace, for all to gaze upon as they passed.

I tested an iPad for a week for zero dollars and zero cents. Didn’t like it enough to keep it. Later I bought a new MacBook Pro.

I got a nice mention in the valedictory address.

My APUSH pass rate rose for the third year in a row. Or, more precisely, my students’ APUSH pass rate rose for the third year in a row. My pass rate has held steady at 100% since I was a junior in high school.

Osama bin Laden died ignominiously, Kim Jong-Il died un-sincerely-lamented, and Gaddafi died with the transliteration of his name unresolved.

My new classroom is well-lit, suffers no infestations, and isn’t sliding into a sinkhole.

I made new friends, dispatched ancient rivals, and became reacquainted with a friend I hadn’t seen in 15 years.

I saw most of my closest buddies, was visited by some cousins I haven’t seen in a while, and video-chatted with my niece twice.

I watched my friend ear33wig become an American citizen.

I was elected chairman of the school improvement team, though they haven’t given me a gavel. Yet.

I visited Clemson, saw my brick in person and watched a game in Death Valley for the first time since graduation. The Tigers had their best season in decades, won an ACC title, and earned a trip to a BCS bowl.

I still have students to teach despite the lack of district funding for transportation, and there was a JV soccer season despite having to raise funds independently.

They announced a new Bond flick, with a strong director and some star power in supporting and villainous roles and I was given parking decal number 007.

I developed and implemented new napping strategies.

Cutler (briefly) came back from his knee injury, Crosby (briefly) came back from his concussion, and though the Celtics wane, the Bulls seem to be back as a major power.

My folks’ dogs were relieved of the burdens of their sufferings, and are now in Doggie Heaven.

I kept the weight down and finished the year under my target.

As resolved, I bought a new mattress and wrote an entry at least once a week. In fact, I set a new personal record for posts in a year.

And despite predictions to the contrary, the world didn’t end.

…

In all, a spectacular year. I don’t see how 2012 can possibly live up to it.

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Good riddance.

December 31, 2011 19:08 pm · 1 comment

The year could have gone better.

My shot at being the district’s Teacher of the Year ended when some district folks scheduled a classroom observation during district-mandated testing time.

The Bears blew not one, but two chances to end the Packers’ season in January.

DFJ3′s dad and my friend Allison died on the same day, both far too young.

I played my last soccer game for some time, until the injury heals.

I sold my iPhone only to realize a few weeks later that I hated my new phone.

A coworker resigned on the day of her AP exam and another coworker-slash-long-time-mentor retired.

Someone from long ago found my blog posts about her. I’ve hidden in undisclosed, rotating locations ever since.

Woodchuck changed the color of their Amber bottles from green to brown.

The US men’s team choked in the Gold Cup final against Mexico, and the US women’s team choked in the World Cup final against Japan.

We had to raise a lot of money to make the JV soccer season happen.

I watched a former coworker and friend, Lego, go insane and turn vicious and malicious as he did so.

I had a less-than-pleasant visit to the dentist to get some fillings– the novocaine didn’t work, and the dentist decided to keep going.

My mom’s dog died, and my dad’s dog died.

The Bears’ season collapsed after Cutler broke his thumb.

They gave the next Bond movie a stupid name.

I kept only a handful of my resolutions.

And worst of all, I broke two molars, and have to pay for a bone graft and implant, and worstest of all, the dentist specifically said the Tooth Fairy doesn’t pay for adult teeth.

Good riddance to this horrible, horrible year.

…

I’m looking forward to 2012. Poland and the Ukraine will jointly host the European championship in June. A new-albeit-poorly-named Bond movie and a new Batman movie are on the way. There’ll be a big primary battle in the spring, fledgling and floundering third-party campaigns in the summer, and a general election campaign in the fall. We’ll get to mock the morons who think the world will end in December. There’ll be new resolutions to keep and new adventures on which to sally forth.

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Merry Christmas 2011!

December 25, 2011 0:04 am · 4 comments

And reasonable access to books.

Merry Christmas! May the day bring you joyous tidings, regardless of your overarching metaphysical philosophy or socioeconomic status!

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Questionnaire 8.

December 23, 2011 2:21 am · 1 comment

I can’t sleep, so I write. Here’s another questionnaire.

This one comes from some French guy named Éric Poindron. Here’s what I think is his original post on the questionnaire, and here’s the post by Edward Gauvin that pointed me towards Poindron.

1. WRITE THE FIRST SENTENCE OF A NOVEL, SHORT STORY, OR BOOK OF THE WEIRD YET TO BE WRITTEN. “The real me probably died decades ago back on Earth.”

2. WITHOUT LOOKING AT YOUR WATCH: WHAT TIME IS IT? 12:45 AM.

3. LOOK AT YOUR WATCH. WHAT TIME IS IT? 12:26 AM.

4. HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS– OR THESE– DISCREPANCY(IES) IN TIME? I guessed wrong.

5. DO YOU BELIEVE IN METEOROLOGICAL PREDICTIONS? I believe that the predictions exist. I suppose that they’re generally somewhat kind of accurate.

6. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGICAL PREDICITIONS? Again, I believe that they exist. I’m a Sagittarius. Here’s mine for Thursday, December 22nd, according to horoscope.com:

There’s aggressiveness to your emotions today. This feeling will command your attention and demand that you be stable and reasonable regarding all tasks you undertake. Be honest and understanding. No one will understand obscure metaphors unless they have some practical use. Water your plants and clean up your yard. The closer you can be to the earth today, the better.

Total hogwash. I don’t own any plants.

7. DO YOU GAZE AT THE SKY AND STARS BY NIGHT? That I do.

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE SKY AND STARS BY NIGHT? I think I’d like to conquervisit them one day. The first time I went camping, around my 10th birthday, we were so far from the city and the night was so clear that the sky was almost white with stars. I remember that night more vividly than the night I saw Halley’s Comet, which was earlier that year.

9. WHAT WERE YOU LOOKING AT BEFORE STARTING THIS QUESTIONNAIRE? An old episode of Spaced. It was the one with the mock gunfights.

10. WHAT DO CATHEDRALS, CHURCHES, MOSQUES, SHRINES, SYNAGOGUES, AND OTHER RELIGIOUS MONUMENTS INSPIRE IN YOU? First, frankly, boredom and sleepyheadedness. Second, if the building in question is really ornate, then I think that though we do want to revere the divine, we might better do so by spending our time, money, and effort on helping God’s children.

11. WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE “SEEN” HAD YOU BEEN BLIND? Not sure how to answer this question… here goes: Let’s pretend that I was blinded shortly after my earliest visual memory, which would make that the only thing I’d seen. Oddly enough, it was getting poked in the eye by my big sister.

12. WHAT WOULD YOU WANT TO SEE IF YOU WERE BLIND? Aside from people’s faces, I think I’d want to see the Sun and the Moon.

13. ARE YOU AFRAID? On occasion.

14. WHAT OF? Losing a child.

15. WHAT IS THE LAST WEIRD FILM YOU’VE SEEN? Inland Empire. I like Lynch’s movies, but one gets the impression he just decided to film two or three hours of goofing off and slap some title cards on it.

16. WHOM ARE YOU AFRAID OF? No one.

17. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN LOST? Yes. A poor sense of direction combined with a faulty GPS on a cloudy day will do that.

18. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? No.

19. WHAT IS A GHOST? A dead person’s spirit that has somehow become apparent to the living, usually by wearing a white sheet and moaning.

20. AT THIS VERY MOMENT, WHAT SOUND(S) CAN YOU HEAR, APART FROM THE COMPUTER? The air conditioner. The blades of the fan. Some old 80s music.

21. WHAT IS THE MOST TERRIFYING SOUND YOU’VE EVER EHARD– FOR EXAMPLE, “THE NIGHT WAS LIKE THE CRY OF A WOLF”? Genuine hysterical panic in someone’s voice. I don’t want to describe it.

22. HAVE YOU DONE SOMETHING WEIRD TODAY OR IN THE LAST FEW DAYS? Yes.

23. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO CONFESSION? No.

24. YOU’RE AT CONFESSION, SO CONFESS THE UNSPEAKABLE. I was Kim Jong Il’s puppet-master.

25. WITHOUT CHEATING: WHAT IS A “CABINET OF CURIOSITIES”? I assume it is something analogous to a “junk drawer.”

26. DO YOU BELIEVE IN REDEMPTION? Yes. People do redeem themselves.

27. HAVE YOU DREAMED TONIGHT? Not yet, I haven’t gone to sleep. I’ll be sure to let you know how it goes, though.

28. DO YOU REMEMBER YOUR DREAMS? More often than most people do.

29. WHAT WAS YOUR LAST DREAM? Unprintable in this august journal.

30. WHAT DOES FOG MAKE YOU THINK OF? London Fog jackets, The Mist, the Fog Bowl, playing in thick fog, lakes on cool nights.

31. DO YOU BELIEVE IN ANIMALS THAT DON’T EXIST? If I stipulate that they don’t exist, how can I believe in them?

32. WHAT DO YOU SEE ON THE WALLS OF THE ROOM WHERE YOU ARE? A framed Sandburg poem about Chicago that I gave to my grandmother and then inherited. A ceramic sculpture that my little sister made. A framed wooden nativity scene from my other grandmother. A small painting of a nature scene. Shadows from the ceiling fan blades amid arc-like patterns from the ceiling lights. Maybe I do need more on these walls.

33. IF YOU BECAME A MAGICIAN, WHAT WOULD BE THE FIRST THING YOU’D DO? People seem to like card tricks, so… card tricks.

34. WHAT IS A MADMAN? Here’s my imprecise definition: a madman is one who either can’t tell right from wrong, or who can but elects not to.

35. ARE YOU MAD? No.

36. DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE EXISTENCE OF SECRET SOCIETIES? Yes. Any of consequence? No.

37. WHAT WAS THE LAST WEIRD BOOK YOU READ? We by Yevgeny Zamyatin. Early dystopian fiction. Imagine the latest common ancestor of Brave New World, Anthem, 1984, THX-1138, and the Jetsons.

38. WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN A CASTLE? I probably wouldn’t enjoy living in a castle. There’d be too much unused space.

39. HAVE YOU SEEN SOMETHING WEIRD TODAY? The bone graft in my jaw.

40. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST FILM YOU’VE EVER SEEN? Primer was pretty weird because of the timelines, but I’m gonna go with Inland Empire again. I like weird movies, but this was so weird that I was incapable of enjoying it. Or maybe it was incapable of being enjoyed.

41. WOULD YOU LIKE TO LIVE IN AN ABANDONED TRAIN STATION? No.

42. CAN YOU SEE THE FUTURE? Let’s just say that I guess right a lot.

43. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED LIVING ABROAD? Yes.

44. WHERE? Italy, Mexico, Russia, Turkey.

45. WHY? Italy: to keep an eye on my brother and rip him off if he ever became a rich calciatore. Mexico/Russia/Turkey: there was a girl who loved all three places, and a boy who loved her. A very foolish boy.

46. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST FILM YOU’VE EVER OWNED? Probably Fire Walk With Me.

47. WOULD YOU LIKED TO HAVE LIVED IN A VICARAGE? Dunno. I don’t want a big, fancy house just for its own sake. Would I have had a big enough family or enough stuff to warrant having such a home?

48. WHAT IS THE WEIRDEST BOOK YOU’VE EVER READ? Tough call. I might go with Blood Meridian.

49. WHICH DO YOU LIKE BETTER, GLOBES OR HOURGLASSES? That’s not a very subtle question.

50. WHICH DO YOU LIKE BETTER, ANTIQUE MAGNIFYING GLASSES OR BLADED WEAPONS? Bladed weapons.

51. WHAT, IN ALL LIKELIHOOD, LIES IN THE DEPTHS OF LOCH NESS? Nothing. Nessie’s an honest girl.

52. DO YOU LIKE TAXIDERMIED ANIMALS? I’ve never given it much thought. I’ll have to buy one and try it out for a while.

53. DO YOU LIKE WALKING IN THE RAIN? Generally, no. But sometimes the mood and the moment match, and it’s calming and almost empowering to walk through the rain while others are carrying umbrellas, or waiting under canopies, or running in awkward, hunched-over gaits.

54. WHAT DOES ON IN TUNNELS? Driving with no radio reception.

55. WHAT DO YOU LOOK AT WHEN YOU LOOK AWAY FROM THIS QUESTIONNAIRE? An empty rocking chair.

56. WHAT DOES THIS FAMOUS LINE INSPIRE IN YOU: “AND WHEN HE HAD CROSSED THE BRIDGE, THE PHANTOMS CAME TO MEET HIM.”? It makes me think the ghosts/phantoms are on his side, at his beck and call.

57. WITHOUT CHEATING: WHERE IS THAT FAMOUS LINE FROM? I’m going to guess Lord of the Rings. Let me check….

Nope.

58. DO YOU LIKE WALKING IN GRAVEYARDS OR THE WOODS BY NIGHT? No. It’s dark, and I don’t like bumping into stuff. I actually used to live next to a graveyard, and walked through it at night a few times while on the way to work or to a buddy’s apartment. No big deal.

58. WRITE THE LAST LINE OF A NOVEL, SHORT STORY, OR BOOK OF THE WEIRD YET TO BE WRITTEN. “I’m glad I got to see what became of mes.”

By the way, why are there two Question 58s?

59. WITHOUT LOOKING AT YOUR WARCH: WHAT TIME IS IT? 1:30 AM.

60. LOOK AT YOUR WATCH. WHAT TIME IS IT? 1:36 AM.

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Protected: A way with people, part three.

December 17, 2011 10:43 am · 3 comments

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